


Das Messer hat mein geliebter gestohlen

by Night_and_the_sky



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Goodbye, I can't tag for shit, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, so happy, stop reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 22:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6060036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_and_the_sky/pseuds/Night_and_the_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren snapped,two-shot.</p><p>-AQ~ <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First part of the fight

**Author's Note:**

> The first bit is actually from me,of course the Levi bit was added in.
> 
> 'I wouldn't mind letting the psychical pain take over the emotional pain.Feeling the emotional pain dift away,bit by bit.To feel something else but emptiness.I feel like someone's listening to my thoughts,not that they would do anything to stop it,though.'
> 
> I think about this a lot,though I would never put my family thought the brother of having to watch over me after they find out.That's why I would never do it,and you shouldn't too.
> 
> -AQ~ <3

_'I wouldn't mind letting the physical pain take over the emotional pain. Feeling the emotional pain dift away,bit by bit. To feel something else but emptiness. I feel like someone's listening to my thoughts, not that they would do anything to stop it, though. I feel like it's my boyfriend, Levi, a little. If this makes sense, the presents seems worried, concerned even.'_

I snapped out my thoughts as I reached mine and Levi's apartment. I put thoughts like that at the back of my mind when I'm around people. Especially when I'm around Levi, I love him and don't want to upset him with these thoughts. I unlock the door and walked in, Levi's working so he's not here. I walk to the bathroom and try to find something sharp, maybe I can use that long knife people use for trimming their beard. I think Levi got one as a gift last Christmas, perfect. He's very organised so it will probably be in the hair section of the bathroom. I open the hair cabinet and soon enough I find it. I put my hand over the sink and just _slit._ God, it felt good, the bad emotions being slit away in seconds. Once I've made a few cut, I clean the knife and the sink. Luckily I'm wearing a short sleeved shirt, so if the cuts bleed my shirt won't get stained with blood. How will I hide them?I'll have to wear a jumper, I don't really mind though. If Levi found out it would crush him, he would blame himself. I can't and won't let that happen, he can never find out. He will notice soon though, I'll just have to cut the same place, or I could go all the way…

* * *

1 Week Later

* * *

"Eren, we need to talk…"

Oh shit, he finally found out.

"Okay."

I sat next to him on our sofa.

"What's up?"

"I'd should be asking you that…"

"W-what do you mean?"

"You can't hide them forever,Eren."

"H-hide what?"

"I think you know what I'm taking about…"

"N-no."

"On your wrists, the scars Eren!"

"I knew this would hurt you,that's why I never told you."

Even though he's shouting, I'm going to remain calm.

"Hurt me? You're hurting yourself! I'm calling Mikasa and Armin, we're talking about this!"

He can't drag them into it, Mikasa will beat herself up about how she should of notice. Armin will burst into tears, he's my best friend but, he does cry a lot.

"P-please don't." 

"Eren, I'm calling them over," he was calm now, "we will help you, please don't cry."

I didn't notice the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks until he pointed it out. He picked up his phone and called Mikasa, I knew he was calling her cause he wouldn't call anyone else right now.

"Hello Mikasa."

I could hear the phone call since I was right next to him.

"What's wrong? You never call me. Is it Eren?"

"Yes, come to our apartment."

"What's wrong with him?!"

"I think it's better he tells you himself, before it's to late."

"What do you mean, to late?"

"I mean, before he dies."

I heard the noise it makes when the other person hangs up, she's probably rushing over here. I'm sensing he's calling Armin next.

"Hey Armin,about Eren, he might die, come over."

Then he hung up.

"Em…"

"You have to talk to people in different ways for them to listen."

"Oh."

He was right,he probably found out which way to talk to me, that probably why I'm his boyfriend. I chuckle to myself while think this.He's a smooth motherfucker, I'll give him that. After ten minutes of just sitting on the sofa and Levi not letting go of my hand, there was a knock at the door. Levi lets go of my hand and walks over to the door to open it, it was Mikasa. She runs past Levi to me and hugs me.

"Eren, what's this about you're doing to die? Do you have cancer? Answer me!"

"M-mikasa, calm down. It's nothing to worry about, I didn't even want to tell you. Levi was the one who wanted to tell you and Armin, not me."

"Tell me what?!"

"I think we should wait for Armin."

It looks like I'm stalling but,I want to kill to birds with one stone  ~~tell Mikasa and Armin at the same time so I don't have to talk about it twice.~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~Five minutes later Armin showed up, oh no. Levi opened the door and Armin basically flew in.

"I came as soon as I could."

"Thanks, Armin." Levi said.

"Eren, are you dying? What's wrong?"

"You guys are here over somethings that's not a big deal-"

"Not a big deal?! You might die Levi said!"

"He's over reacting."

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Fine, I've…"

"You've what?" Mikasa asked,clearly panicked.

"I've been…"

"He's been self harming." Levi said bluntly

"W-what?!" Mikasa shouted.

"Oh, Eren…" Armin said,I could hear the pity in his voice.

"Don't worry, It's not a big deal."

"Eren, this is a big deal, why are you doing this? Am I not making you happy enough? Is it someone else? Speak to me, Eren."

I just stared at him,why would he even think his is about him? I never told him for just this reason, he'll hurt himself to.

"N-no, Levi please don't think like that!"

"What is it then, Eren?"

"It-I-He's…"

"Who's he?"

"My friend…"

"What friend?"

Mikasa asked, she's clearly angry at them.I can't tell her, she would kill him.

"That doesn't matter…"

"Fine. Atleast tell us why, what is he doing that's so bad?" 

I felt the tears building up this time. Clearly Levi noticed, I could see sadness form on his face.

"Eren…is this friend doing something to you?"

I nodded.

"Eren, this is serious now. Who is it?!"

Mikasa shouted.I don't know why I'm protecting him, I think it's because I'm ashamed. I just nodded my head no as more tears started to form in my eyes.

"Eren…please just tell us."

I looked over to Armin, who was crying. Then to Mikasa, who was also crying too. I'm just bringing them pain, I don't want this. I hugged them.

"Guys, I love you.I'm causing you pain, I don't want that."

I stood up and started to walk to the bathroom.

"Eren came back!" Mikasa shouted,I just heard them running but they were too late. As they got out of the stock and started chasing after me, I was already in the bathroom. They were all banging on the door.

"I love you Mikasa. I love you Armin.I love you Levi. Please remember the good times we had."

"Eren I'm kicking down the door!"

"Levi, go get a screwdriver!"

Armin shouted. He always thoughts of a way around everything. Mikasa was kicking really hard now, I needed to hurry. I quickly grabbed the knife and slit my whole wrist. I'm going all the way this time, I need to stop everyone I love from hurting. I heard them unscrewing the door.

"…goodbye…" 

I whispered, somehow they all heard me.

"Eren, no!" Armin cried out.

"The ambulance sould be hear any second! Hold on."

"Don't you get it? I don't want to hold on. I did this to stop the pain,I hurt everyone I love."

"This is the worse thing you can do to someone you love, Eren!"

I was lying on the floor when then finally unscrewed the door. Levi tried to stop the blood by applying pressure, he only was able to stop it a little though. I heard the ambulance though I didn't care, soon it will be over. They won't be able to save me, that's how I want it.

"Please Eren,hold on for us."

"I'm sorry Levi, I only cause you pain…so I must leave."

I shut my eyes.

"Eren stay with me!" I heard Levi scream.

I leaned up and kissed him, then I smiled.

"Goodbye, my love."

I rested my head back on the ground and was just waiting to die.

 


	2. Licht der Engel - Light of Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a big,bright light when I open my eyes…

There's a big, bright light when I open my eyes…Something has a grip on me,or someone-shit! I'm still alive! The figure under me notices I'm awake and shouts,

 

> "Eren!"

It's Levi, no-no-no!

> "No,why am I not dead?"

He just stares at me with sadness in his eyes. I suddenly see Mikasa and Armin rushing over to me, this is getting worse.

 

> "Eren! Oh, thanks God."
> 
> "I shouldn't be thanking God, I should be with him."

> "Eren, this is still serious though. Please just tell us…who made you do this?"
> 
> "I-I can't."
> 
> "Why not?!" 

Levi buts in, manners wouldn't hurt. Giving the situation we're in, I'll let it slide.

 

> "Cause, I can't turn in family…"

Mikasa stares at me, she thinks I'm talking about her.I try to say something but she cuts me off.

 

> "Eren, I'm so sorry! Please,tell me whatever I did wrong! I'll leave after you tell me… _please…"_

I stare at her, can she really think she can hurt me like that? I truly love mikasa, she could throw me off a cliff and I would still love her.

 

> "N-no…Mikasa it's not you…"
> 
> "Then who-"

She stopped talking, she probably guessed who it was.

 

> "…No…"

Is all Mikasa blurts out before hugging me. It's a little weird since Levi's between us, but I still hug her back.

 

> "Eren, I thought Mikasa was your only family left…?"

He looks hurt, like I lied to him. shit _,_ this isn't what I wanted. I just wanted to stop the suffering, to stop  _all_ of our suffering. I was also suffering too. Watching my world cumble away, slowly but surely. Watching your life fall apart right in front of you isn't exactly fun. I was dead on the inside, I wasn't Eren anymore,they already lost him. So why not let them lose his shell, that's all that's left of him. I'm just a hollow shell, so why not just let me break?

 

> "I though so to, until about a mouth ago…when my Dad found me."

They all stared at me. You see,my dad disappeared after my Mom's death. It was tragic how she died.

* * *

I stared at her, I stared at the woman who raised me, changed me, bathed me. She was covered in blood. The bittersweet memories we shared together, only I hold now. She passed away in my arms, I was only ten.

She was taking me for Icecream, every week she would take me out for a treat if I behaved well. A person ran past her and she fell and hit her head.

 

> "Mom!"

Everyone turned round to look why I was yelling. The person who pushed her, stared at me.

 

> "Why did you push her?She fell and hit her head because of you!"

He just stared me, then started crying.My mom has just been pushed over and bleeding, but he's the one who's crying?

 

> "You're pathetic, stop crying and help her!"

He just stares at me, probably can't believe I just said that. I bend down and place her head on my legs. I couldn't care less that there's blood dripping from her head onto my jeans. She smiles at me.

 

> "I love you…my little Ozean-Augen."
> 
> "I love you, schwarze behaarte Schönheit."

She smiled at me one last time. Then she was gone, just like that. I'm just glad she died with a smile on her face.

* * *

 

"My dad left me and Mikasa by ourself after my Mom's death."

 

* * *

 

 

> "Goodbye…Son."
> 
> "Bye…Dad…"

        "Look after Mikasa and yourself."

Then he took his leave. I'm not going to miss him, after my Mom's death he was never truly the same. He always buried himself in work,he lost a lot of weigh after my Mom's death because he never ate, never slept, only worked. I may of only been ten but I knew how things worked. You might think that would ruin my childhood, it actually made it better. I understood when something was wrong faster, so it didn't catch me by surprise later. I knew about my Dad being depressed, so I wasn't fazed when he left.

* * *

 

 

> "Eren…what is Dad making you do?"

I started to cry again, I never missed my dad but I did hope he was okay. Every year on his birthday I would walk to our old house and think about when we were a happy family,  _a_ _n actual family._ We weren't a family anymore. Me and Mikasa are still family, my dad lost the right to be in our family the day he left.

 

> "He's…He's forcing me to…to do stuff for his pervert friends."
> 
> "Eren, why didn't you tell us?"
> 
> "I was ashamed, okay?!"

The room went silent after that.

* * *

2 Months Later

* * *

The day on my breakdown/ suicide attempt, Levi asked for my hand in marriage.He said he was going to propose to me at dinner then the breakdown happened. We couldn't wait to get married so we got married only two months later. Levi was smiling,  _he was actually smiling._ Sure he's smirked before, but never actually smiled. I can finally move on with my life.

 

> "…I do…"

 

 

 


End file.
